What's the most embarresing thing or worst disaster that's happened to you while camping or just spending time in the great outdoors?
As many of you know I spend alot of time at our camper,a whole 29 ft. of it, in the summer time and this year is no different except for the fact that I seem to currently hold the title for the most "campfire disasters" at our campgrounds. The worst of it is that it's not exactly a secret around here!!
1. The night we had our first campfire our dog Maggie (see avatar) was laying a little too close to the fire ring and Ken told me to get her and move her over. After moving her away once I noticed she was back again only this time her behind was too close. Pembrook Corgie's don't have tails, just fluffy little behinds and when I went to move her again I noticed that her fluffy butt was smoking!! No flames visable but she sure was starting to smoke. There I am in front of all of the neighbors trying to beat the smoke off her butt before the flames started!!!
2. Ken brought a new pad lock for our new storage shed, no problem with that, unless you get the lock out and forget that the keys to it were still attached to the piece of cardboard you just threw into the fire!! Ya should have seen him scramble for those keys. I stupidly laughed my butt off at him and let him have it again the next day when I found the part of one of the keys that hadn't burned up.(the plastic handle of course was gone) The only thing that saved him was that he hadn't locked the lock yet.
I'm sure you all know that what goes around comes around and guess who's turn it was next? Yep, your's truely. This is almost too embarressing but I guess since I told on Ken I might as well tell you exactly how stupid I really am.
3. We had finished supper one evening and had used the "good china" (paper plates of course). As Ken was running the water to clean our only pan I was being Miss Neat and Clean as usual and gathered up the plates and napkins and took them and threw them in the fire to dispose of them. As I'm on my way out the lady across the street came over to ask Ken for some help at her camper. I, in the meantime go past her on the steps to go in and get my, Oh I hate to say this, partial plate that I had just wrapped in a napkin and layed on the table so I could clean it. Guess what wasn't on the table!! In a dead panic I just about knocked Liz off of the steps and went digging in the fire with hopes that it hadn't gotten to it yet! No such luck, I did manage to get it knocked out of one of the air holes in the bottom but Polident sure wasn't going to fix this, now or ever!!! Liz told me that's what I got for laughing at Ken for throwing away his keys !!
I have to laugh about it now but Oh Boy it sure wasn't funny that night. Do you suppose Karma hates me?? I wonder sometimes for the things I get into. OH, and by the way, I quit laughing at Liz because she had gone shopping with her daughter and didn't realize she had ripped the entire rear end out of her pants until they were at their last stop. (giggle, I do laugh a little now and then)
Now if I can tell on myself like this you can do it too, give it up, what's happened to you?? Hmmmm????

Oh dear! Poor Iodine!

No camping disasters, apart from rain! I do have a tale of when I were young, when two friends and I went to a Cambridgeshire middle-of-nowhere pub, where an amazing succession of funny occurences took place in the space of two hours. But it's a long tale and I must away. Will tell all tomorrow!

Nope, my camping story can't hold a candle to yours, Iodine! Sorry, but I'm still laughing!

When the girls were all about 10, we decided we too could be campers (we, whose idea of a holiday is room service and starched sheets on the beds)... and off we went to buy a tent, a screened 'tent' (I hate bugs), a lovely stainless steel camping stove and all the other paraphernalia ... absolutely positive this would be a great experience for the kids - and the cost of all this stuff, well, camping over the rest of our lifetime would surely make them pay for themselves many times over.

And off we went to a Provincial park ... beautiful site, huge lake, sunshine beaming down and the 'perfect spot' to trundle in our stuff and pitch our camp site.

Mosquitoes can get through mesh. So can other bugs if kids forget to zip it each time. Bugs can also get into tents - and bite! Sunshine is lovely but a child with a wicked sunburn is not much fun - and two other girls with a terrible 'itch' from something in the lake water, less fun. (And no, I didn't take anything for bug bites - but did take a little flower vase lest we find some lovely wild flowers to adore our 'dinner table').

Public out houses were a long way away so suggested girls simply make 'themselves at home in the bushes far from camp' - sadly, nettles are not friendly things! Finally to bed, all snuggled down in our brand new sleeping bags ... and poof, the temperature started dropping.

When it's cold, children seem to have to go to the washroom every 10 minutes - and since nettles were still a vivid memory for all three of them, we took turns walking them to the out houses - using the only flashlight we brought. (Take two, always take two as ye who is without the flash light is truly left in the dark - eek!).

And the rain started ... the 'water resistant' tent resisted about 10 rain drops before it started to leak on us ... but it was the hours of dumping from the skies that did us in. We've pitched our tent on the only low area around - and no, sleeping bags do not float! Ugh.

The next day was equally as bad and when we finally trundled all this wet (heavy) stuff back to the car, we promised we would not again introduce them to the "great outdoors" - gentle smile.

And yup, we put a notice up at our work place the next day for 'nearly new camping equipment for sale at a great price!'.

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Really looking forward to hearing about your adventure, The Colonel - please don't forget to tell us about it! And still laughing about the 'plate, Iodine!

After 13 years, there's too many to count. The one that sticks in my mind involves a skunk, my dog, and a couple of golf carts loaded with overly intoxicated campers. It was not a pretty sight

Now that leaves a lot to the imagination ... and I must have a good one as I burst into laughter just thinking of what may have happened!

The skunk survived
Wish I could say the same for one of the golf carts
Note: Golf carts don't float

I don't know Mara, nettles, bug bites,rain and one flashlight sounds pretty well up there with mine, except the plate. I love the fact that you took a nice vase for any pretty flowers you might find and no bug spray!! Always the gardener!!

I want to hear about the dog,skunk,golf cart and the drunken campers Mark!!! That must be a real doozy!!

OH! and Colonel, give it up now, long or not we need your story!!! So get with it will ya???!!

The summers not over yet and I'm terrified to think what else might happen around here. I'll keep you informed. I've put off fishing for fear of disaster but how bad could it be, there's no sharks around here. I wonder if there are any fish here with teeth though?? Hmmm, I may have to look into that.
Oh!! I did spot a dying honey bee, they've been showing up alot lately, and decided to put the poor thing out of it's misery the other night. With my good deed done I headed into the camper but the unappreciative little bugger got one last shot in even after death, I accidently stepped on him bare footed and the littl B's stinger went into my foot!!! I'm can't seem to win, even the dead are going after me. Think I'll stay out of graveyards for awhile.

You are a hard taskmaster, Iodine!

When I was around 24, two friends, John and Dave, and I, went to Cambridgeshire Folk festival, camping. But apart from real music we also liked our beer so went scouting for nice pubs. Now you guys out there in the USA don't know our accent differences, but the fens of Cambridgeshire have a soft Norfolky tone, something between Robert Newton and David Bowie for want of better examples.

We arrived at a pub called the 'Old House at Home' in Fen Ditton at five past twelve on a Sunday. The pubs in England opened from 12 until 2p.m. on a Sunday in those days. But when we knocked on the old black wood door, there was no answer! After much thirsty knocking, finally many bolts awakened the door, it opened slightly ajar and a tiny old man with round glasses poked his bald head around the doors edge.

'Yers, waht will ye be wanting then?'

'Er, sorry sir, are you open?' Dave asked stroking his chin.

'Ooh, yers, is that the toime?' The old mans arm struggled through the door, to behold his watch. 'I suppose we be. Come on in boiyes.'

We walked in and headed for the bar.............and stopped........no bar! Just tables.

'Sit yerself dahn boiys. Maud! We're open!'

Out came Maud, his wife, floral dress and apron. 'Now what will ye boiyes be havin''

'Oh.' John started. 'What bitters do you have?'

'Bitterrrs? Biiiterrrs? We don't have that new fangled stuff 'ere boiy, just Mild. Unless yer be wanting a short?'

'Ah, three Milds then please.' John asked.

Maud disappeared out the back door!

'Have you any darts?' I asked, noticing the strange dartboard, (not all dartboards are the same and they vary around England).

'Thers some behind the cover ther.' The old man said, observing us closely. We were the only ones there after all. Maud arrived with the drinks and we began to chalk up a game of modified 'Halve-it'.

I threw three practise darts, stepped up to pull them out, where upon withdrawal the dartboard crashed to the ground. The tyre holding it, as true as I breathe, fell over my head and rested on my shoulders!

'Wa ye doin' ta me dartboard!' The now pipe-smoking landlord shouted. 'Darts be off!'

'Sorry.' I said, 'I really am sorry.'

'Ne'er mine.' Maud said, 'I've be on at 'im ta fix it fer years. Why don' ye play a gam a cards, thers a table ther? Give erm some cards wi ya Jim.'

The landlord gave Dave the cards. John pulled the fold-up type green baized table out from the wall and he and I drew chairs up, Dave went to draw his, but first decided to throw the cards onto the table. The table collapsed on impact and fell on to my lap!

'Wa ye doin ta me card table!' Jim the landlord shouted. 'Gi me them ther cards!'

'I be on about 'im ta fix that fer years too!' Maud said. 'Ne'er mind boiyes, enjoy yer drinks, we're just out 'ere if ye needs.'

We sat quietly and began to laugh. What a place! No bar, just old oak tables, no bitter, broken tables and dartboard! Soon we needed refills and I was delegated to find Jim or Maud as it was my round. I passed a little room that had the mild barrels in and then found a hallway to the backdoor that was open. Going through I found the couple tending there garden!

'Er, three more Milds please!' I called.

'Yer, we be in now, nerly one-a-clock.'

We were served our beers. At around one-a.....sorry, one O'clock a Land Rover pulled up and a gaggle of locals were soon in the pub with 'Herlow Mauds and jerlow Jims', 'The usuals' etc. Then another Land Rover, then another and more and more.

Soon the pub was so packed we could not get up from our seats. The entire place a hubbub of Norfolky crossed London accents of the local farmers, clearly from miles around.

Then last orders bell, then time, then 'Out yer go!', 'Come on yer lot, out!'

As we got up to leave we all got seperated in the tumult and squeezed out he door, I turned 360 getting out. Once out the door closed with lots of bolts clanging shut only to be outdinned by the starting of engines of around 20 or so Land Rovers. The dust of the scene was like something out of a spaghetti western. As the last one sped off the sudden sound of nothing enveloped us. Birds tweeted, dust slowly settled and a scorched sun beat upon us. Then we realised, Fen Ditton, a very long village [Ditton] was equally divided between us, and we all needed the little boys room..............................

Went back many years later, alas, it is now a dwelling house. Will never forget that day.

OH! Colonel! Your luck isn't much better than mine!! I think you're a swell guy but do me a favor please, don't come to my house to play darts or cards. The number of tables in my house are limited and heaven knows where you're darts might end up!! The toilets aren't quite as far though so you'd be in luck there after we finish all of the bear!! Good story!!!!

Yes, I agree Iodine!

You poor thing, Colonel - no wonder you remember the time so well - thanks ever so much for sharing it with us!

Yipee!!!!
The saga continues,unfortunately or hilariously depending on how you look at it. NO !! I haven't burnt anything else up! However, being at a campground that is at a lake area we got to thinking (wrong thing to do for us) that since we have all of that water available that it would be nice if we had a boat to float on it. Sounds reasonable to me, kind of. There's only one thing about being a first time boat owner, you learn by your mistakes.
We had found a really great deal on a pontoon boat and after checking it out ourselves and having some friends who knew alot more than we did about pontoon boats and having it out on the water with the owner we bought ourselves an 18 ft. pontoon boat. The first few times we took it out it was great and a good time was had by all, meaning that everyone who didn't come to visit before suddenly decides it would be nice to come and see us. Hmmm, could it be that we now have a boat??? Finally Monday rolls around and we get the chance to take the boat out by ourselves with the intention of a nice leisurly day on the lake. We got to the docks, got everything ready to go and since Ken had driven the boat all weekend he decided that it was my turn to drive. No problem, he had let me dock it the day before and I did a good job of it if I do say myself. We finally made it out of the channel and into open water. After passing the "No Wake" zone I thought Okay! now I can check out for myself what it's like to go a little faster than a snails pace. I pushed the throttle forward and the only thing that happened was a slight speed up followed by a sensation that someone was in the rear holding the cotton picker back and a sound of a slipping prop!! After trying a couple of more times the results remained the same. In my favor was the fact that it did the same thing for Ken. As luck would have it another boat was coming up close by and we hailed them down and explained the situation. The other gentleman asked if we had tried reverse. We tried and guess what, yup, no reverse!! Now it's time to panic, we've got a lemon and the tranmission is shot!!!! We begin limping back up the channel to our dock, needless to say very unhappy boaters. When we got to the dock area I asked Ken to try reverse again just to see if it would work (wishful thinking). Low and behold we had Reverse!!! He tried forward again and the lurching and whinning seemed to have lessened. Reverse again and then forward and darned if the thing didn't run like a champ!! We took it back out on the lake and it ran fine. We did find out from another boater that the problem was algea wrapped around the prop! Reversing and then going forward usually fixes the problem. What we didn't know was the button Ken had decided must be the one pushed when putting the boat in reverse was in fact the "cold start" switched and it automatically puts the tranmission in neutral!! No wonder we didn't have reverse. Talk about feeling like a couple of nit wits!! Learn by trial and error, that's us....
Yesterday we went out again and took a picnic lunch with us. We were going to anchor off of one of the islands and have lunch on the boat. After being out for several hours we were getting rather hungry and found a perfect spot for our floating picnic. Uh,huh!! Oh for a camcorder!! I could have one $10,000 on America's Funniest Home Video's!!! You haven't lived until you see the look on the face of a good ole Kentucky briar after he's thrown the anchor in the water only to watch the rope float up to the top EMPTY!!! "The anchor came off the darned (I cleaned that up) rope!!!! , now isn't that just a crock of (well you know what was said here), that's just dandy!! There goes another $100!!!" Still in shock he realized he couldn't possibly go in and retrieve the anchor, although as "frugal" as he is I'm surprised he didn't try. In stunned silence we once again returned to our dock in shame,hungry and knowing that you don't trust that the previous owner knew how to tie an anchor to a rope. Luckily later that evening the humor of it began to sink in and the neighbors looked at us like we were totally nuts sitting there laughing so hard that the tears were rolling and couldn't seem to stop. Do ya think it was the humor of the situations of the last couple of days or shame and embarresment?? Beats me, but I still have to silently laugh when I remember the look on Ken's poor shocked face.
Oh!, today we learned that you don't put the Bimini cover (awning so to speak) down until after you've got the boat cover completely snapped, in the back at least.... I shudder to think what our next lesson will be but I'm wearing my life jacket at all times from now on.....

My worst camping disaster was when I swallowed a fly. I have only been camping once and did not care for it much.

Doubt if the fly cared for the experience either! m KingofIdiocy!

Dod, Iodine! Between you and Ken I'm beginning to worry - gentle smile! Do do do wear that life jacket at all times - and, come to think of it, do you have flares and something to bail the boat out with??? Don't fret, we all have to learn - and just enjoy!

That is a very funny story,Iodine. I can see the funny side,although it must have been a worry at the time. It is all a learning curve,and I'm sure you and Ken will get so much fun, out of this boat.You have to get some pics to show us.
Thanks for sharing.

I have swallowed many flies,in my lifetime,and it is a nasty experience.
Never have got used to the taste.

I'll have to tell my fried not to put his boat in Indian Lake for a while

Ah the saga continues, not quite as bad but we do have our moments. I need to get my pics done so I can show you the poor darling boat that's had to put up with us this summer. I thought I heard it groan a bit the last time we took it out...The mistakes and accidents have been coming less and less often but we do have a bit of adventure now and then. Ken, bless his heart, went to Wal-Mart and bought himself a new anchor and a new anchor rope!!! Hurray, I thought, the problem of lost anchors has been solved at last. Ha! fat chance!! We were out last week with my son, his wife and our granddaughter who has a need for speed it seems, her greatest expression on the boat is "GO FASTER GRANDPA!! She usually gets her way but not near as well as when Grandma is driving, for some reason I seem to leave a much bigger wake than Ken does, Hmmm, could it be the difference between 3,000 rpm's and 5,000?? Anyway, we decided to anchor up and fish on this particular trip so Bill hooked the new anchor to the boat, following Ken's directions, threw it out and all seemed well until we noticed we were drifting a little more than we should. You guessed it, the ding,danged anchor was down in the water but not with the rope!! I thought the first time was bad but you should have heard Ken this time!! Needless to say the air was a bit blue. The hook on the new rope had malfuntioned and came off of the anchor, poor Ken. He now has another new one and I don't think there's much chance of losing this one. You should see the knots and tape he's got on that sucker, they alone would hold the boat without the anchor!!
We finally got Maggie her own life jacket (yep, they make them for dogs, go figure) and it works quite well. Some friends went with us one Sunday, they took their jet ski out and we took their daughter, her boyfriend and her son, and their dog. (a poodle with a bad attitude by the way) We met up at a swim area and had the gate open. My friend decided that their dog needed a ride on the jet ski and having been on it before and in the lake before the dog made a nice little jump into the water and swam the few feet to the jet ski. Maggie of course observed the whole operation and when they got back decided she'd like to join in. I don't think she quite understood that it was water she was jumping into, she stood at the door looked over at my friend and did the most perfect nose dive you've ever seen!! Naturally she came up to the top dazed,confused and swimming for all she was worth!! We at least found out she could swim, she didn't like it much but she could swim. Later we went to the beach and anchored just off shore. The water wasn't very deep there so we decided to take the dogs in and see if they needed to take a "relief" break. Gwen jumped right in there but Maggie, well that was a bit of a problem. She'd had more of the lake earlier than she wanted and wasn't about to get back in the water. I got in and tried to encourage her but she was having none of it, Ken finally ended up throwing the poor thing in!! (the louse!) By the time I got her to shore she was hyperventilating!! She wasn't real thrilled to find out she had to go back to the boat the same way, hyperventilation is a strange thing to see in a dog.. Now it's my turn to lug myself into the boat...sort of. The water was too shallow for the ladder so I put my foot on the pontoon and tried to pull up, too far up I discovered. My friends husband was right behind me so I asked him for a boost ( or was it a goose???) Anyway, his reply was that he basically wouldn't feel right putting his hands on my bottom. Now this guy is a CSI agent!!! I'm sure he's handled worse things! I finally told him to just pretend I was "dead" and get my butt up in the darned boat, that did it. He gave a it the good old Boy Scout push and "bingo" I was in the boat. I guess it pays to be dead now and then. Which I might very well be the next time we go fishing like we did this past Saturday and I caught 2 fish (a 12" channel Catfish and a Bluegill) and Ken caught, well let's just say that I'm 2 ahead of him on fish this year... Now I'm waiting for the big ones to start biting, hope I get the first one but if I don't post anymore you'll know I'm at the bottom of Indian Lake with a new anchor around my neck and a fishing pole deposited in a very uncomfortable place....

Very enjoyable read,and a laugh.Thanks for sharing,your experiences with us.Iodine.
I would be attaching bricks,to the Anchor Rope. Cheaper.