This is the main reason I don't like psychology; they love to assume. Because one person does one thing, they are inclined to fit into this category and therefore inclined to do another, possibly related thing. More specifically I am referring to the common assumption that masochistic tendencies are bad and means the person has a problem(s). This is not always true. And I believe it's their choice, as long as they are not directly hurting anybody else.

I know most of you will disagree with me, but that's ok .

Thank you for starting this topic here, solaris32, rather than continuing on in the thread where Vicki was seeking help regarding her daughter 'cutting' herself. While opinions are what our ThoughtVent is built upon, I personally feel we are encroaching on dangerous territory when a member's child's health is at stake.

The below is a quote from the other thread:

"Just because someone likes to cut themself, doesn't mean they have problems. Though based on further descriptions you've given, I'd say she does. If someone dares me to inflict pain on myself, I'll usually do it, and have. I just find it to be fun, as well as observing the reactions of the people watching me".

Unsure if I should assume from your post that you have 'masochistic tendencies' ... or assume from the quote above that the statements are made to 'observe the reactions' (shock value) of people reading the statements and then replying. Truly don't know.

I have never lied here, so they are true. I consider myself to have "minor masochistic tendencies". Which for me means nothing too serious, prefer external pain, and nothing on my head. I am a quite happy person, so I always get annoyed when people assume I must be depressed or have a problem, when I rarely inflict minor pain and damage on myself. I can't really put the reasoning of why I like to rarely do it into words. Though I did explain why I like to do it when someone dares me.

Anyone that self mutilates ones self, needs a Psychiatric Accessment,ASAP.
This Topic is just plain stupid,in my opinion.
No Psychiatrist or Psychologist on this Earth would agree, that this activity is normal.
Only nutters who need Psychiatric help themselves,could condone this stupidity as acceptable.

Tattoos are a form of self-mutilation, one would assume; yet there are supposedly acceptable reasons for them. Body piercings, too, seem acceptable. Where does social approval end and psychological "abnormality" begin, or is there even such a rigid distinction?
Z

Wherever there is disagreement, there is a worthy topic. Just because you may strongly disagree, doesn't make it a stupid topic DSTM. And a good observation Zarathustra.

I think there is a big difference between things like tattoos and piercings vs. cutting oneself. Tattoos and piercings main purpose isn't to inflict pain, it's to gain what some consider to be an attractive accessory. People don't get tattoos because they like the hurt, it's because they like the artistic result. Also, my female family members have told me that piercings don't always hurt.

What confuses me is how someone can gain pleasure out of giving themselves pain. It goes against all natural insticts, which means it must be a learned activity, and no one randomly decides one day to go and cut themselves, (at least no one I know of). I believe that anyone who experiments with such should attempt to gain help, as it is not in the least natural nor healthy.

I'm honestly curious and struggling to understand a point of view that seems to go against, as Sphinx said, 'all natural instincts'.

I'm guilty of assuming that only children who are angry at themselves (or perhaps others) and are unable to verbalize this intense anger, then turn to self-mutilation, rather than physically attacking others.

But when I read the words, "I am a quite happy person, so I always get annoyed when people assume I must be depressed or have a problem, when I rarely inflict minor pain and damage on myself", I do wonder about something.

For instance, if one wakes up to a glorious sunny day filled with excitement on what the day may hold and is at peace within oneself, surely the last thing one would want to do is self-mutilate? I honestly can't quite get my mind around happiness = self-mutilation.

Why can't it just be an amusing thing to partake of once in awhile? You people are against it because you don't consider it normal, and it indeed not many people do it any form. However, once upon a time, some things that are commonly accepted today were once considered abnormal. For example, the previously mention tattoos and excessive piercings, as well as homosexuality. Today this stuff is normal.

Can you tell me what exactly makes masochism bad? Am I hurting anyone other than myself? Under what train of thinking does it become bad? The only reason I can see is because of someone's mere opinion. But opinion is not fact, and there are no facts placing masochism as bad.

I am not sure how old you are solaris or if you live with your parent's or not,but if you do live at home and your parent's come in to see you mutilating yourself, do you think they would find it amusing?
do you think they would say c'mon son pass the knife let's make a night of it?
to be honest if you want to go round hurting yourself that's your buisness ,if you want to cut off your arm while standing one legged in a vat of acid and posting it on youtube then that is also your buisness.Heck i'd probably watch it myself.



Are you sure about that? i would have a little check on that if i was you.

I think you guys are overdoing it a bit. Just because someone is slightly masochistic, doesn't mean they make huge gouges with a knife, or even "cut" for that matter. And like I said, I have heard no "facts" for why it is bad.

look i won't go into the fact's part as am sure you know i could pull out fifty link's saying it is and you could pull out fifty more to refute it.
when i was younger i used to do thing's for a laugh i,e jumping of loading bay's on my bmx climbing on high factorie's that where condemned and basically causing a bit of havoc,but at no point did i delibrately try to damage myself at the end of the day i did not want to get hurt no matter what stunt's i pulled.

I can honestly say that no-one is overeacting ,just given you the benefit of our life experience(That is if you are as young as i think you are)

Yes, sadly I too am sure there must be many links out there in the internet world saying 'it's perfectly normal' - gentle sigh.

But as others have said, inflicting pain on oneself is surely not something everyone does - or, for that matter, actually considered 'norm' for most?

I'm not judging those who practice 'self-injury' (unsure if that's even the right term but it seems apt) as I've never had the urge, but do wonder about something.

Always had thought a person who does it is usually secretive about it and suffers in silence rather than be labeled 'psychotic', etc - somehow knowing it is not the 'normal' behaviour of a happy person. How unusual to find someone who not only does it but sees nothing 'abnormal' about it.

If an adult, yes, you have a right to do what you choose with your life and body ... 'as long as it hurts no others'. I too don't know your age nor your personal circumstances but do agree that your parents and others who love you may be horribly concerned.

After reading through this thread, I've got an observation:

Someone who says they have "minor masochistic tendencies" does not agree with



Well, duh!

I've known plenty of alcoholics who don't think having a drink is a problem, either.

I'm sure that if I had any problem (which I don't, 'cause I'm perfect ) I would downlplay and somewhat defend it, too. I suspect we all would.



I'd say we need to define "masochism" to make sure we are all talking about the same thing.

While piercing one's ear or getting a tattoo may be somewhat painful, that shouldn't imply that the only reason one does it is for the pain, for example, so I wouldn't consider them in the same category at all with someone who has the medically described - Wikipedia - Sadism and Macochism - problems.

It is a given that some people inflict pain (or "self injury" as Mara has termed it) upon themselves. And it seems the motivation and purpose of the individual's action determines whether it is "normal" or not.
What would happen if "everyone" not only had tattoos but scars as well? Do all the individuals who have piercings choose to do so only for the SAME reason (say, adornment), or is it possible that some ALSO enjoy the actual pain (or potential for future pain)? Again, for some people sexual arousal and enjoyment is enhanced by varying degrees of pain; this may not be "normal" but under what specific cases would cause us to be concerned about pyschological "heath" (for lack of a better term)?
I think we should avoid sweeping generalities and look to specific cases and situations to see if there is some commonality---or difference---that would help us draw conclusions.
Z