After substantial training over the last 2 hours i am proud too anounce that i am thoughtvents first and at the moment only agony uncle.

My first letter comes from steve of london and read's:

Dear mike,
I have been married now for the last 14 years and myself and my wife have a very sound relationship,however after work i like to have a couple of beer's,and enjoy a little bit of banter with my friend's,my wife find's this a little strange and when i try to explain that i like to unwind after a hard day's work she say's i should choose the pub or her,what do i do?



My reply

Dear steve,
It's seem's that after all these years your wife does not know you in the least,after all what sort of wife gives ultimatums?
I will not advise you stay or go instead ,follow your heart.

Good luck being single

Dr.Mike



If anyone require's advice from the internet's greatest agony uncle please post below

This post has been edited by mz30: Jun 28 2008, 03:02 PM

Dear Agony Uncle,

I'm an ambidextrous cixelsyd. When my insignific other and I play TWISTER, we often become hopelessly entangled and require assistance from others to disentangle.
My medical insurance refuses to compensate for such help. What can we do?

Dear conundrum,
Unfortunately for you ,my understanding of writing backward's with both hand's is limited,if i had to give my expert medical opinion i would suggest standing on your head and writing whilst your hands are tied behind you back.

As for getting tangled up playing twister,well let's say i have a fair bit of experience in this field,playing twister is like playing the game of king's"Chess"as in, you position yourself as to make your opponent have no place to run.

Now on occasion when i have found myself in stalemate playing twister,i have usually had a part of my body in line with my better halfs jaw,therefore whether its a foot, fist,elbow,knee or even a good old headbutt she will soon slink to the ground making you the winner,and 99% of the time if you hit them hard enough they don't remember a thing,except that you beat them at twister.

Hope that helps

Dr.mike

Dear Uncle MZ,

I have this curious habit of nipping of to the shed for several hours to play with radios, valves and related stuff, this seems to p**s the Minister for War off quite a bit and gets her gander up. Apart from the odd few beers there I do little that she could possibly be offended by. I do get indoors around eleven, just as she goes to her bath so I don't see the problem. What advice could you give her to overcome this anger?

Troubled,
Letsby Avenue,
Frogmorton Piddle.

That should be an easy one, for Dr Mike.

Dear troubled,

Unfortunately,i cannot possibly understand what is troubling her,after all you are letting her have five minute's to herself to get a bath.
I would suggest coming in at 10 o'clock asking her to get you 2 beer's and tell her to get an early bath,that way when she is the bath you will not have to get up and get your own,after all you have been very busy in your shed for the past few hour's and getting your own beer takes away most of the fun of drinking.

Also point out what a wonderful man you are getting out the way for a few hours while she watches coronation st ,etc.

Some people don't realise what a good thing they have sometimes

Hope this helps
Dr mike

Troubled?

Maybe you'll install a reefer (a refrigerator) in the shed. Ask your Lady to fill it for you while you draw her large, hot bath?
This would give you both more time away from the other each day?

Sorry to overpost you here Dr Agony....

Dear Dr. Mike (and friend),

Yes great suggestions, I shall tell her that you advised me thus.

Now could you tell me how I can ensure she gets the beer jug handle pointing the right way next time as well, sheesh!, she always gets that wrong!

Feeling a bit better,

Frogmorton Piddle.

This post has been edited by The Colonel: Jun 30 2008, 03:39 PM

Well thats easy you threaten to super glue it to her hand if she continues with this inconsiderate behaviour.

I've seen German made one liter steins with a handle on two sides?

Actually, I have one from 1967.... among my other stein collection... he he he.

Probably then she'd put the mug down with the handles north and south instead of east/west.

Mox Nix as any might know. It's only 90 degrees of separation - left to right, or right to left.

/Me considers building/marketing a four handle model for others. I'm sure some do already exist tho'. Should it be a two liter model? Self-chilling? Hmmm.....

When i lived in belgium a few years ago,i started to frequent the local pub and after a while noticed i was the only one drinking out of litre glasses in broken flemish i asked the barman why this was ,he said that the beer ws to strong for his regular drinker's and since i had been going there his takings where up and that he would have a special blass ordered four me from the brewery.

The glass arrived a few days later and to my suprise it was a two litre stein with two handles and everytime i went in i would ask for it to be filled ,all the regulars looked at me like i had two heads,they were even worse when i drank about four of them in a sitting,with little effect.

When i left he give me the glass which i accidently smashed on my way home and i have never been able to find one since.

(Wow! How we few have HI-Jacked this Topic!)

Dr. Agony,

Should we all just imbibe straight from the kegs now? Or do we have another venue?

Regards,
Malt LoveMan