A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a brand new Ferrari.
It's also one of the most expensive cars in the world. He takes it out for a spin.

While he's stopped at a red light, an old man putting down the road on a moped pulls up next to him.
The codger looks over at the sleek, shiny vehicle and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

"A Ferrari 550. It cost more than half a million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly.

Impressed, the moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem."

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Then sitting back on his moped, he says, "That's a nice car, all right...but I'll stick with my moped! She's a good goer, too."

The young man rolls his eyes at the oldster's misplaced boast.
Just then the light changes and he decides to show the old man what his car can do.
He floors it. Within seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!
He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster than he.

"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?!" the young man asks himself.
He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari to 250 mph.
Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the moped.

"No way!" he exclaims. Stunned that the moped could pass his Ferrari he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph. Whoooooosh!

He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again.
Astounded by the speed of this old guy he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.
Not five seconds later he sees the moped bearing down on him again. The Ferrari is flat out and there's nothing he can do.

Then -- WHAM! -- the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear.
The young man jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive!!!
He runs up to the mangled elder and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers with his dying breath, " Yeah, Unhook...my suspenders from your side-view mirror. "

Now you can laugh!

I have raced HD MC's of any size on a 49cc Scooter. The course is 100 feet in total distance. I always Won.

Simple gambit. We line up. The starter is 100 foot away and also the finish line judge.

We get the go signal, and I throw my aluminum crutch into the front wheel of the HD and just cruise on up to the finish line at 30 mph.

Motto of the story is... Never trust an OB former motorcycle racer.