If you're a parent, you've probably given your kid a speech somewhere along the lines of "we raised you and paid your hospital bills, so take out the trash!" I find such mindsets that it's the kids fault it cost so much to raise him to be ignorant. Your kid didn't make you reproduce, that was entirely your choice, and the responsibilities that come with it are entirely your burden. No one even asked that kid if he wanted to be born, so how does that make it his responsibility? Sure kids should do some housework, but it shouldn't be because they "owe you". Remember this next time you start condemning your kids for your actions in the bed.

As a father, I can honestly say that I have never asked such of my daughter, and never would I. Far from the outlook you have observed, (and I do not doubt your word), I hold the view that I cannot do enough for my daughter, and she owes me absolutely nothing, forever, end of story. My wife is going to know tomorrow whether she is pregnant with our, God willing, second child. A second child, third child or thirteenth child will never owe my wife nor I a single penny, rest assured, I give you my word.

I'm glad to hear that .

I agree it should not be a question of "payback" but at the same time encouraging children to help, according to their abilities, around the house seems to make them realise they are a part of the family group and fosters a sense of responsibility, especially as they grow older.
Z

As a mother, I can tell you when I tell my child to do something the answer to why is... because I said so... just that simple.

When i ask my daughter to do something helpful she does as she's as she's asked(she's only three).
Now ,given i only ask her to help put her toy's away or put something in the bin ,but when she's asked she seem's very excited to help.

When she's older i will expect her to help us round the house for pocket money(allowance).
Children cost an absolute fortune but if your not prepared for that financially then it can become a huge problem.
However Solaris you are right children owe the parent's nothing finacially.
kind of remind's me of an old song

I agree, our children 'owe' us nothing and we can only hope for their respect and love both now and in the future.

All for children contributing to their family's welfare by sharing in chores, etc though. I never called it 'helping' as that would have denoted it was somehow my job and they were doing me a personal favour. And never, ever withheld their allowances - egad, that would be like my boss withholding my pay (and I don't pay children to do work around the home).

I'm glad to hear none of you act this way towards your kids. Maybe it's just me, but my parents acted like this towards me, and I have seen many parents with similar mindsets.

This post has been edited by solaris32: Dec 10 2007, 05:04 PM

You're right, unfortunately. And apparently the practice still lives on.

My parents, although wonderful in so many ways, had the attitude that a child should be seen and not heard and pretty much presented at mealtime well dressed and perfectly mannered - hugh grin. And hand-in-hand with that went the 'I am parent', ergo, they were to be obeyed in all matters with no questions asked. Didn't do me any harm but silently drove me a tad nuts - so made a concious effect to be a tad different with my own parenting, as most of us do.

Well good topic I mean they do owe us We brought them into this world accident or not. I mean if it weren't our choice they wouldn't be alive. But also don't use that excuse too much because then you'd just be taking advantage of it.

I agree with most here that I believe learning to earn, a sense of belonging to the family and responsibility and time management are all learned thru a few chores.
I also wonder if the parents only meant...we did our part so should should do something too... In other words it's a give and take world.
Perhaps they weren't saying it correctly,but trying to convey an idea.

And oddly enough, although they may moan and groan, most kids feel pretty good knowing they are not just on the side-lines but really, truly part of a family - and a family shares the fun and the work.

I've never used the 'you owe me' - figure it was my choice to have the child so I owe them the best education possible and the security of knowing they are always, always loved. (Mind you, I've not be adverse, when things were really lumpy,to telling them that although I loved her, I sure didn't like her as a person right at that moment.... and then explained why certain behaviour led to this).

I've always been an independent and almost never ask for help in doing physical things. All I ask is that people do the same. So when I get asked to do a chore I had no critical part in creating, I get annoyed. I look after my own stuff and leave yours alone, why can't you do the same?

I'm exactly the opposite.I get a lot of satifaction, helping people out with chores when they ask for assistance.

This is a great topic. One that my husband and I have been discussing for awhile. We have a 3 year old, who cleans up his toys without barely being asked (that's because I'm OCD about cleaning up my house and he's unfortunately learned that from me, I'm sure). On the other hand, we have an almost 10 year old step-daughter who will not so much as fluff her comforter in the morning to help out. I certainly don't believe in telling my kids they owe us anything because they don't, but I do want them to learn how to participate in keeping our home nice by doing simple things like not leaving wet towels on their bed.