We always hear the rules from the female perspective. (See below!)
Here, now, are the rules from the male side.
Ladies, these are our rules!

(Please note... these are all numbered 1 ON PURPOSE!)

1. Men are NOT mind readers, no matter how much we love you.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us..

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do something, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color . Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say, "Nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, transmissions, and golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but the truth is, men really don't mind it at all? We just think of it as camping.



//I was given a list of Women's Rules too, but I think the dog ate it.

This post has been edited by Conundrum: Nov 21 2007, 08:11 PM

I thought a "mauve" was some kinda "tropical" fruit....

Not bad, not bad at all. Time and fight saving rules. I only find exception with 2 of them. 1. positioning of the toilet seat, rules should state that during all daylight hours any position goes and each can tend to his/her own needs, however, pleaseeeee at night be sure the seat is down, when we get up to use the toilet in the middle of the night it is a curtiousy to you not to turn on the lights and wake you up, please extend some curtiousy to us by making sure the seat is down before retiring, there's nothing worse than going into a dark bathroom at night and having you a....sat down in a cold bowl of questionable water!!! Brrrr!!
1. Christopher Columbus may not have needed directions but remember , he got lost and never did meet his main objective. Map please!!!

Great post! I am going to print it out now! Do you do a Japanese version, Conundrum, for my wife?

I'm sorry I do not. Japanese is not a language I ever learned. And the new Google Beta Translator will not give up the language script yet. Just prints lots of ??? ????? ??'s.

Twas jesting sir.

As a genius, I can of course translate that fine piece of information into my wife's native tongue. And, interestingly enough, we have downloaded Japanese script from Microsoft that enables Japanese sent/received e-mails and messages to display Kanji, Hiragana and Katakana. Of course the user writing the Kana must be able to type the word in Latin script, a form of writing Japanese called Romanji, and then at times differentiate to ensure the correct Kana is displayed [as in English, some words have the same sound but have different interpretations].