Understanding Engineers – Take one



Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said,

“Where did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business

When a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes

And said, “Take what you want.””

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice; the clothes wouldn’t have

fit you anyway.”



Understanding Engineers – Take Two



A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly

Slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, “What’s with those blokes? We must have been waiting fifteen minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “ I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”

The priest said, “Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”

He said, “Hello, George! What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow

Aren’t they?”

The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight

Saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see

If here’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”



Understanding Engineers – Take Three



To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.



Understanding Engineers – Take Four



What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.



Understanding Engineers – Take five



The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”

The graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”



Understanding Engineers – Take Six



Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.

One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”

Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of Electrical

Connections.”

The last one said, “No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline

Through a recreational area?”



Understanding Engineers – Take Seven



Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.



Understanding Engineers – Take Eight



An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said,

“If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bend over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,

I will stay with you for one week.”

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for

One week and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that

I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.

Why won’t you kiss me?”

The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don/t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool!

for your Dad.


for the Engineering "takes".