DOG DIARY

7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My
favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite
thing!
5:00 PM - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some
sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me
going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike
fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates
what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little
hunter' I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow
-- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches.

The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is
regularly released and seems to be more than willing
to return. He is obviously retarded.

Cats take life entirely too seriously.

When my Parakeet flew out of the window a few years ago, he just kept on going.......must have been talking to a cat.