Dunno if this has been posted before- haen't seen it, so here goes...

1 As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Photos will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their security cards in two weeks (From Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp, Redmond)

2 \What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter (Lykes Line Shipping)

3 E-mail is NOT to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for Company business (Accounting Manager, Electric Boat Company)

4 This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it (Ad/Marketing Manager, United Parcel Service)

5 Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule (Plant Manager, Delco Corp)

6 No one will believe you solved tis problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them (R&D Supervisor, 3M Corp)

7 Quote from boss "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say" (Marketing exec Citrix Corp)

9 We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees (Switching Supervisor AT&T long lines div)

10 One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerninga project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (Halmark Cards exec)

Been there and done copped these at some time.......

Speaking of Dilbert, at one place I worked if you were caught posting a Dilbert cartoon, you were given time off
Management mentality
Mark

I had a boss tell me that my first line supervisor was the supervisor first in my line, and if I had any problems I should tell him first, unless it's about him, then tell him last, because if he is the problem, chances are it won't get fixed. That statement was immediately followed by "Ok, ok, ok, I know....I confused even myself on that one."