http://www.cycnet.com/englishcorner/jokes/main.htm

As a preview, here is one of my favorite ones so far:

EDIT: After reading more, a few of them contain a few bad words, so watch out.


"Mrs. Johnson and pig"

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge, "Does this mean
that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"

The judge said that was true.

"Does this also mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'?" the man asked.

The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no fear of legal action.

The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."

This post has been edited by solaris32: Feb 21 2008, 04:43 AM

Here's one I can relate to :


"Talking Frog"

A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk.

"Kiss me and I will turn into a princess." The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting,

"Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours."

The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back.

The frog is really frustrated. "I don't get it. Why won't you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask."

The guy says, "Look, I'm a computer geek. I don't have time for girls. But a talking frog is cool.!"



And here's one I found to be highly amusing:


"Ticket Please...."

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all Three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all!).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers buy no tickets at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant. " Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket please."

I like.