Is the age of Chivalry dead?. Do you still pull out a chair or open a door for a lady? In this day and age, I seem to see less what is considered Good manners and being Polite. No one seems to help old ladies across busy streets,much anymore.I have done this many times and only had one bad experience.In busy Sydney I tried to help this one old lady across the street.She must have thought I was going to rob her.Swung her handbag and collected me where it hurts.Swore she must have had a brick in it.
Old people having to stand, and nearly falling over in buses, and young teenagers wouldn't even think of offering them a seat.Do you still open doors for ladies,pull chairs, or think in these days of equality, she is big enough to open the car door herself.Dont hear much anymore Yes Ma'm or no Ma'm. I think most ladies like a bit of attention,as It makes them feel important IMO. Do you carry the groceries in from the car for your wife,or pretend you are busy doing something else. Or do a lot of ladies object to these polite jestures as making them feel somewhat inferior, to men, if they dont do everything themselves.Interested in what Ladies, and also the Men think.

This post has been edited by DSTM: Feb 2 2008, 02:17 AM

I have always understood courtesy, broadly understood, as a hallmark of a healthy civilisation.
Z

I would'nt say say chivilary is dead,dying yes.
Myself personally i hold the door open for my wife ,pull out her chair and alway's carry the shopping in.
However the generation below me have none of these manner's reading another thread here about paying for a female on a date well to me that goes without saying ,if when myself and the wife were courting i met up with her and her friend's i would also pay for there drink's not just the wife's ,not being chivilrous it was just the way i was brought up.

In short in ten years time this topic will probably called "What happened to chivilary".

What I always wonder is 'how did this start to happen' - that chivalry /common courtesy seems to be dying.

Gracious, how hard is it to teach a child to remove his hat when entering someone's home or a Church? To put a shirt on before sitting at the dinner table? To 'dress for the occassion'. To treat a lady as a lady - and a lady to act as one. To stand and give up one's seat to either sex if they are elderly or just plain look tired or are laden with parcels.

All the 'little things' in life that, as tiny and gracious gestures, add so much to our own and others lives. Long live chivalry !

I think parents are often the cause in the failure of Chivalry.
I can remember, from a very young age, my mother telling me and my siblings to help elderly people with their groceries when at the Supermarket. So now, I don't even need to think about it, it is simply a natural act, even if my friends look at me like I'm wierd when I do it.
I think society has evolved in such a way that it was inevitable. E.g., in the 1950's and before, there was typically the father who worked and the stay-at-home mother (at least, that's my impression of it, if I'm incorrect, please let me know). The mother's job was then to make her children as socially respectable as possible, and the rules for society seem to me to have been much stronger back then. If the child was unruly or unrespectable, it was seen as a failue of the parents', so the parents worked to make sure that wasn't to happen.
Now, that's not often the case. Many households have two parents working hard, which leaves little time for proper lessons in respect. This isn't always true, I'm sure plenty of households with two working parents have respectable children, but it does make doing so more difficult. That, and more is now socially acceptable than back then. It may just be me, but I've seen church clothes slowly become more and more casual than when I was little. Being respectable in such ways just doesn't matter to people anymore.

Pretty well all of the posts resonate with me, sadly "chivalry" i.e. courtesy and consideration do seem to be vanishing graces ... my mum used to have a little saying ... she said "A lady is one who makes it easy for a man to be a gentleman" - this has validity!

And the ladies of the women's liberation movement did the exact opposite -

they made it difficult to impossible for a man to be a chivalous gentleman.

Now, now - I take umbrage with that! (Huge laugh!)

In reality, yes, there were some (and still are) women who make it nearly impossible for a man to be a "gentleman" - but please don't blame poor women's liberation for that.

Nope, I (and many, many other's like me - then and now) hit the work force doing what was considered 'men's jobs' - and although I worked with nearly 1,500 men, never had a problem still being a lady nor they being gentlemen around me.

Women's Lib has (and had) 'extremists, but for the most part, being treated as a human with equal rights does not, nor should, take away from the lovely magic in the differences between men and women.

Yes, that's the part of the Women's Lib movement to which I refer.

The part that said that the word "history" was too male specific, and we need the word "herstory" to balance it.

I believe elementary school students are being taught Ourstory throughout the country now.

Most chivalry is nothing more than useless rituals. Why should I take my hat off in church or when I enter someones house? How does leaving my hat on show disrespect? In reality it makes no difference.

I show respect in more useful and tangible ways. For example, by obeying my superiors.

Also, I get the feeling you created this thread because of the contents of a particular thread I made.

EDIT: I'd like to add that the term "gentleman" means nothing more than a man who has submitted himself to the whims and desires of others. I'm a nice person (honest), but I can take care of myself and I believe other people should too.

This post has been edited by solaris32: Feb 2 2008, 11:47 PM

Hi Solaris32,No, I wasn't even thinking of your thread, when I posted.I was on another site,saw similar and with the interesting responses,thought I would like to hear from TV members,their thoughts. Happy to PM you the link, if you are doubtful.
Your are wrong again.

Again?

Anyway, I only thought you had because you created this thread soon after mine, and I know you don't like my views. Oh well. And I don't doubt your honesty.

Wonder if gentleman doesn't still mean what it did ... a man strong enough in his masculinity to be gentle unto others?

I think that not only is chivalry dying, common decency has taken a nose dive also. I'm going to open myself up to alot of flack here when I say this, in my opinion what happened to the world is - mom went to work.

We have had a couple of generations now of daycare, babysitters and latch key kids. No one is raising our kids anymore and teaching them the values they need to interact decently with their fellow man.

A large part of either being a Gentleman or a Lady is acting in a polite manner and not being rude.