Ice Fishing |
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Ice Fishing |
 Feb 1 2008, 12:49 PM
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#1
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 Venting Addict  Group: Members Posts: 954 Joined: 13-October 07 From: Erin TN Member No.: 158  |
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many Books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary Tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." She stopped, looked skyward, and said, " IS THAT YOU LORD? " The voice replied, " NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK." -------------------- 'No arsenal, no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.'
-- Ronald Reagan  I Search for the Sjogren's Foundation,Who will you search for? |
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Feb 1 2008, 12:55 PM
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#2
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 Vented Out Group: Administrators Posts: 1,406 Joined: 10-August 07 From: USA Member No.: 8 |
Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.
Z -------------------- Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one should be silent.
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Feb 1 2008, 01:55 PM
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#3
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 Venting Enigma Group: Administrators Posts: 1,175 Joined: 8-August 07 From: 65 miles due East of the "Logic Free Zone", in Maryland, USA Member No.: 2 |
Spear fishing for Sturgeon in Wisconsin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturgeon So, this Blond Guy from Southern Wisconsin decides to join the spear fishing for Sturgeon. He builds a fishing shanty that is collapsible and towable to go northward. It has a heating system; a generator for lighting, TV, cooking, etc. He buys the best made Sturgeon spear that is available with a retractable pole system. (It will extend more than 30 feet.) He buys the largest ice cutting chain saw he can find. At the start of the season, he takes two weeks of vacation and drives North to the prime area. Lake Winnebago. After checking with the locals to ensure the ice on the lake is safe to drive out upon, and getting directions to one of the better areas for finding these great fish, he sets out upon the lake. He finds a spot, a bit distant from the other fishing shanties. He sets his unit down, unfolds it, and sets everything up. Starts his heater, generator, and tunes up his Sat TV system. He starts his ice saw up and cuts a hole. Before he can enter the shanty, it and his tow vehicle sink into the lake. "One does not cut a hole around the perimeter of a shanty!!!" [As far as anyone I know, his shanty and vehicle still reside in about 50 foot of water.] Truth or fiction? One never knows as many out on that lake have lost shanties and vehicles otherwise. //Aside: As Vicki well knows - I love Blond stories and fishing tales too. Funny - there Vicki! -------------------- The only easy day was yesterday....
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Feb 1 2008, 02:45 PM
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#4
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 Advanced Venter Group: Members Posts: 277 Joined: 15-December 07 From: Cleveland, Ohio Member No.: 291 |
QUOTE (Vicki @ Feb 1 2008, 12:49 PM)  A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many Books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary Tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." She stopped, looked skyward, and said, " IS THAT YOU LORD? " The voice replied, " NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK." She probably wouldn't have know what to do with that 30 pound block of ice after she caught it anyways.  Mark -------------------- Mark
 Why won't my laptop work? Having grandkids is God's way of giving you a 2nd chance because you were too busy working your butt off the 1st time around |
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