worst jokes ever |
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worst jokes ever |
 Aug 19 2007, 03:23 PM
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#1
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 T.V'S AGONY UNCLE  Group: Global Moderator Posts: 1,332 Joined: 14-August 07 From: liverpool,england Member No.: 20  |
okay guys lets have them ,here's some to start
Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?” Did I ever tell you the story about the broken pencil? It had no point. I was reading a book about adhesive the other day. I just couldn’t put it down. Q: What’s the friendliest school? A: Hi school. Q: What’s black, white, black, white, and green? A: Two skunks fighting over a pickle. Q: What do you give a dog with a fever? A: Mustard. (It’s good for hot dogs.) Q: What do you call a bass vocalist who sings by himself? A: So-low. Q: Where do books eat dinner? A: At the table of contents. Q: Why were the suspenders arrested? A: For holding up a pair of pants. Q: What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel? A: A lumpy milkshake. Q; What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school? A: Not only have you let me down, you’ve let yourself down, and you’ve let the whole school down! Q: Why was the broom late? A: Because he overswept. -------------------- god my head hurts
if you don't ask you don't know  |
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 Aug 19 2007, 03:25 PM
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#2
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 Who's your Daddy? Group: Moderator Posts: 2,159 Joined: 13-August 07 From: Tampa Bay Area, Florida, USA Member No.: 11 |
-------------------- I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant!  |
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Aug 19 2007, 04:27 PM
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#3
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 Advanced Venter Group: Members Posts: 234 Joined: 17-August 07 From: NYC, USA Member No.: 34 |
2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted....
2 muffins were in teh oven, one says "Wow, its hot in here" and the other replies, "Wow! a talking muffin!" .... --------------------  Be proud of who you are. |
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Sep 20 2007, 08:12 AM
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#4
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 Venter Group: Members Posts: 44 Joined: 18-September 07 From: uk Member No.: 47 |
Pops brain cell back in
and makes note not to come in this thread again 
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Sep 21 2007, 10:14 PM
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#5
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 Venting Addict Group: Members Posts: 612 Joined: 21-September 07 From: 1AU from a G2V Star Member No.: 81 |
What do you get when you cross a whale with a camel ? a Humpback Whale of course !
A ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, The bartender turns around and says ,Sorry you're going to have to leave, we don't serve food here Horse walks into a bar , bartender ask , Hey Buddy ,Why the long face ? A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." A dyslexic man walks into a bra. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual." Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!". Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. -------------------- "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster"    |
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Sep 22 2007, 12:02 AM
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#6
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 Mods and Rockers Group: Moderator Posts: 1,241 Joined: 13-August 07 From: West of the Empire State Building Member No.: 16 |
Two flies were on a toilet ..... one got pissed off ! Finisher
This post has been edited by boopme: Sep 22 2007, 12:06 AM |
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Sep 23 2007, 06:13 PM
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#7
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 Venter Group: Members Posts: 46 Joined: 21-September 07 From: York, England Member No.: 79 |
*Cringes and laughs simultaneously at every joke in this topic!*
-------------------- Ambition makes you look pretty ugly
Kicking squealing Gucci little piggy http://www.last.fm/user/evilmonkeyzzz/ |
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Sep 25 2007, 02:31 PM
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#8
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Who's your Daddy? Group: Moderator Posts: 2,159 Joined: 13-August 07 From: Tampa Bay Area, Florida, USA Member No.: 11 |
Q: What does a dead artist draw?
A: Flies! -------------------- I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant! |
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Nov 5 2007, 11:39 AM
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#9
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 Venter Group: Members Posts: 104 Joined: 20-October 07 From: Nottingham England Member No.: 171 |
Huge Pause
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke" The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?" The bear says, "I've had them all my life." Forgot..2 more... What is brown and sticky? A stick Why did the lobster blush? Because the seaweed I have many a bad joke..shall be back....! 
This post has been edited by Dollyeyes: Nov 5 2007, 11:42 AM -------------------- BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR IT IS THEY WHO LET IN THE LIGHT!
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Nov 7 2007, 11:32 AM
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#10
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Venter Group: Members Posts: 104 Joined: 20-October 07 From: Nottingham England Member No.: 171 |
More bad ones...brace yerselves!
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road." A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything" A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here" Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it ...oh no...  just realised..no-one knows the same jokes!!! forgive me...(and Peter Kay...lol!) This post has been edited by Dollyeyes: Nov 7 2007, 11:36 AM -------------------- BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR IT IS THEY WHO LET IN THE LIGHT!
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Nov 7 2007, 01:41 PM
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#11
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 Venting Enigma Group: Administrators Posts: 1,175 Joined: 8-August 07 From: 65 miles due East of the "Logic Free Zone", in Maryland, USA Member No.: 2 |
DollyEyes - you are forgiven by the great jokester in the sky... Mel-whatever-his-name is...
New jokes are fun to figure out and discern. -------------------- The only easy day was yesterday....
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Nov 7 2007, 10:59 PM
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#12
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Venting Addict Group: Members Posts: 612 Joined: 21-September 07 From: 1AU from a G2V Star Member No.: 81 |
QUOTE (Dollyeyes @ Nov 7 2007, 11:32 AM)  just realised..no-one knows the same jokes!!! forgive me...(and Peter Kay...lol!)  It's not like I made them up , and besides (it's been more than a week ago) the "classics" need to be retold on a regular basis Did you hear about the Blonde that got fired from the M&M factory ? She kept throwing away all the W's ....
-------------------- "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster" |
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Nov 8 2007, 05:14 AM
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#13
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Venter Group: Members Posts: 104 Joined: 20-October 07 From: Nottingham England Member No.: 171 |
QUOTE (no one @ Nov 7 2007, 10:59 PM) It's not like I made them up , and besides (it's been more than a week ago) the "classics" need to be retold on a regular basis Did you hear about the Blonde that got fired from the M&M factory ? She kept throwing away all the W's .... silly her...she could of at least eaten them.....!
-------------------- BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR IT IS THEY WHO LET IN THE LIGHT!
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Nov 8 2007, 09:47 AM
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#14
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Who's your Daddy? Group: Moderator Posts: 2,159 Joined: 13-August 07 From: Tampa Bay Area, Florida, USA Member No.: 11 |
Just wonderin' -
what did she do with the "3"s and the "E"s? 
-------------------- I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant! |
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Nov 8 2007, 04:57 PM
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#15
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Venter Group: Members Posts: 104 Joined: 20-October 07 From: Nottingham England Member No.: 171 |
....
there are 3's and E's??????????????????!!!
-------------------- BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR IT IS THEY WHO LET IN THE LIGHT!
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